If You Go Out Into The Woods Tonight
by ShitsandGiggles-TheCrackTwins
Summary: CRACK Pairing, One-Shot. Major loses Hans in a bet to the infamous Ciel Phantomhive. What will ensue when our werewolf soldier meets a certain lovabale hellhound? Hans x Pluto. THIS IS A YAOI. You've been warned.


Disclaimer- We are not the owners of Black Butler or Hellsing.

Warnings- foul language, yaoi, OOC-ness, and all kinds of other things.

Who plays who: Shits did Hans, Giggles did Pluto.

**(A/N): This is shits, and guess what. SEBASTIAN'S KITTEN WILL BE UPDATED IN A COUPLE OF DAYS! If not, giggles will kill me. She's sitting right next to me watching me with a shotgun…help.**

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Hans was dumbfounded; never would he have guessed that Major would lose to a mere child in a simple board game of war. The game had lasted so long that bets had been placed, and it just so happened that if Major lost he'd give Hans to the Phantomhive child for two months. And that was what just happened; the werewolf was now bound to the Phantomhive estate until Major comes back for him. Meanwhile out in the gardens, Pluto just woke up from his midday nap and was ready to play around. Seeing that Finny was no where around the hellhound brought it upon himself to hunt down the next best thing, Sebastian! In his excitement Pluto transformed into his human form and ran into the mansion. Running blindly ahead, Pluto had no idea that the figure he slammed into and began to lick on the cheek was not the Phantomhive butler. Only when Sebastian pulled Pluto off of Hans did either white-haired male take in the other's presence.

"You mongrel," Sebastian hissed to Pluto, "Forgive me Mr. Hans; he usually doesn't jump anyone other than me." Hans only grunted in response upon standing and retrieved his fallen cap from the floor. At this Hans did notice that Sebastian crinkled his nose and proceeded to scowl.

_Hmm? Why the sudden change in mood, is it that naked man's fault? _Hans mentally wondered. Pluto then started barking, hoping that the Phantomhive butler would get the message of being put down. Realizing that he was going nowhere soon, the hellhound whined and in defeat became limp in Sebastian's hold.

"No wonder this beast had such a fondness of you, you're just like him." Sebastian grumpily huffed before tossing Pluto onto the ground and walked away. Now curious by Sebastian's strange comment, Pluto decided to investigate and he walked up on all four to Hans and began sniffing the other.

_Do I smell weird? _Hans questioned as Pluto sniffed every inch of his body. While watching the other man, Hans noticed that Pluto was wearing a collar that just so happened to have a name etched into it. Bending down to be face-to-face with Pluto, Hans carefully took the collar into his hand and read the name, _Pluto._ Said hellhound whined out in confusion and slowly became uncomfortable under Hans' sharp gaze. At this point Hans took his turn to sniff Pluto, in which he detected the strong scent of dog. Then wanting to attempt something Hans went to try and see if he could communicate with this other hound mentally.

'_So your name is Pluto?' _Hans first questioned.

Pluto had yelped in surprise before replying nervously, '_H-Hi?'_

'_Ah so it does work. Well Pluto it's nice to meet another hound like myself, you may call me Hans.' _Pluto only looked to Hans curiously before shaking his head and ran off; heading back outside. Hans huffed a tad disappointed and then proceeded to go and locate the room that he will be staying at during his stay at the manor. While outside Pluto changed back into his hellhound form and proceeded to play in the dirt while Finny was busy trying to, but failing, at tending to the plants. As he rolled around turning his white fur brown Pluto wondered about Hans. He had never been around any other wolfs like himself and it made him very curious, however he had no idea on how to follow up with his curiosity. He was only the Phantomhive pet after all. Soon though, Pluto caught sent of Hans; he must have been told to come assist Finny with the garden. And sure enough the hellhound was right; Hans walked up and stared confused at Finny, who was crying about spilling pesticides, and he seemed even more confused by Pluto's presence. Excited upon seeing the other hound, Pluto stopped in his 'dirt bath' and walked right up to Hans. Pluto's tongue was hanging out of his mouth and his tail was wagging madly; and seeing this finally got Finny to react.

"Oh dear! Pluto you're supposed to hide when we have guests, not greet them!" Finny shouted and went to grab Pluto's collar.

Hans' eyes widened for a second, _Pluto?_

Pluto whined at Finny and got the blond to release him; he then gently head butted Hans' chest and then put his collar in the other's line of sight. Immediately Hans looked over the collar, upon reading 'Pluto' he huffed and placed a hand on Pluto's muzzle. Realizing Hans finally recognized him; Pluto yipped happily and moved to lick Hans' face.

At this Finny reacted again, "Plu-Plu what are you doing?! I'm so sorry sir; he doesn't act this way normally!" And again the blond started tugging on Pluto's collar. Hans smirked to himself at the way Finny interacted with Pluto, but then he noticed the forgotten pesticide that was killing pretty much all of the plants. So Hans tapped on Finny's shoulder and pointed to the accident. With a surprised yelp Finny quickly went to try and fix his screw up.

'_Thank you… He would have killed the plants and dragged me to my dog house.' _Pluto mentally connected to Hans while sitting and scratching at his ear with his back leg. At first the sound of the hoarse voice got Hans off guard, but he realized it was only Pluto he sighed. And when he stared at the large hellhound he noticed how much dirt that Pluto was covered in.

'_You need a bath.' _Hans stated.

'_What? No, I don't want a bath, I just got outside!' _Pluto whined loudly and shook his head in defiance.

'_It is inevitable, you are dirty.' _Hans then took a single step towards Pluto; only last second did he realize that wasn't the best action to take.

'_NO!' _Pluto growled out. He then had a sudden playful mood, '_Catch me and then I'll take a bath.'_ Hans let out a sigh; this was going to be troublesome. Just then Pluto started a mad dash for the woods, and Hans went after him. Pluto yipped happily as he was chased; never before had he had so much fun. He easily was avoiding Hans around every tree. Knowing that catching Pluto while he was in his hellhound form would lead to an endless chase, Hans took a minute to think up a way to excite Pluto enough to get him to transform.

'_Maybe this will work.'_ Hans then broke a branch off a tree and he called out to Pluto, '_Here boy, you the stick?'_ Immediately Pluto halted in his tracks and quickly turned.

'_Throw it! Throw it!'_ He yipped happily. Hans inwardly smirked and then tossed the stick; Pluto went right after it. Since the stick was smaller, Pluto changed so the branch fit in his mouth. He then (as a man) trotted over to Hans.

'_I got the stick!' _He smiled after placing down the stick. A moment of silence picked up and during that time Pluto began to pant softly due to all the previous running. '_That was the most fun I have ever had!'_ Pluto stated happily. Hans secretly smirked at the man; he then walked up close and grabbed him around the waist. Pluto looked curiously to the man and yipped as he was pulled up into bridal-style type of carrying. Hans figured that they got way to far from the manor and it would be best to go back, and he thought that carrying Pluto was the best solution to get there quick. Pluto, after getting over the initial shock, easily settled in Hans' arms and proceeded to nuzzle Hans as a sign of thanks. Hans suddenly freezes up, an odd sensation trailing down his spine. Everything seemed to overpower Hans at once. Cheeks flushing and feelings overwhelming, Hans drops Pluto and seeks shelter behind a tree and a handful of bushes. Pluto yelped as he hit the ground and he scanned around for Hans.

'_Hans?' _He whined. He had no idea what just happened. But nevertheless Pluto crept towards the area were Hans was hiding. Little did Pluto know, Hans had sunk to the ground. His breathing rapid and had a strain against his pants. By the time Pluto located Hans, the man had lowered his pants, in an attempt to air out his shame. Pluto looked at him curiously, confused on the whole scene. Hans may have had his eyes shut, but he knew full well that Pluto was staring right at him.

'_Forgive me Pluto. I didn't want you to see me like this.' _Hans groaned lightly.

'_What do you mean?' _Pluto whimpered and went to sit next to the other hound. As a sign of comfort Pluto put his nose to Hans' neck, unknowing of what other reactions it could have. Hans shivered as Pluto's cold nose and warm breath tickled his neck; only causing his member to grow more rigid.

'_You're just trying to unravel me aren't you?' _Hans growled lightly. Pluto backed off, looking at Hans in confusion. He didn't understand what was going on; Hans' sudden change in scent and mood causing Pluto to worry.

'_I'm sorry… I can go.' _Pluto bowed his head and was ready to leave; only to get grabbed and flipped to the ground by Hans. Immediately Hans tossed his hat and pulled at his jacket, revealing his mouth which was showing off his sharp canines.

'_Don't you dare leave!' _Hans growled and slammed his lips against Pluto's. Pluto whined out in surprise. He was clueless, but slowly starting to enjoy the treatment. Hans too was enjoying himself; far more than he should have been. '_Please don't leave Pluto; it hurts.' _Hans begged softly and finally ended the kiss.

'_What hurts?' _Pluto whimpered. Hans took one of Pluto's hands and brought it down to his throbbing member.

'_There.' _Hans hummed. Pluto didn't quite understand, but he carefully wrapped his hand around Hans' manhood and rubbed it. Hans let out a throaty growl of approval. Pluto replied with a happy growl and continued with his ministrations, he himself starting to flush from the situation. Hans was a bit shocked to feel something hard up against his stomach, but he smirked and brought down his hand – after all, he should help Pluto in return. Pluto yelped and moaned at the new feeling of Hans grabbing his lower regions. Hans continued to smirk proudly and in seconds he pulled them both into a sitting position, Pluto in his lap. As pleased as Hans was, he just wanted more, so he quickly wet some of his fingers a=on his free hand and brought it to Pluto's behind. He then took no time to stick one finger in. Pluto let out a type of squeak as the finger penetrated his bottom. He put his head to Hans' neck and nuzzled it. Hans kissed lightly at Pluto's neck as he started to move his finger around.

'_Relax Pluto.' _Hans muttered as Pluto tensed up. Pluto just groaned and continued to bury his face in Hans' neck. Hans proceeded and entered a second finger. He groaned at the feeling of just how tight Pluto was. He figured that at this and the hellhound's innocent actions that he had never experienced stuff like this. Hans quite enjoyed the fact of Pluto being all his to ravish. He moved onto scissoring and Pluto started to squirm.

'_Just a bit longer Pluto.'_ Hans put some more kisses on Pluto's neck and added his third finger. Once deemed ready, Hans had only one thing left to do. '_Pluto.'_ He got the other to move his head and look him in the eye.

'_Hans?'_ Pluto whimpered.

'_Would you be my mate?' _Hans asked. Pluto at first gave Hans an odd look, but then he smiled and moved his head aside, giving Hans total access to his neck. Hans growled approvingly and licked his lips before biting down on Pluto's neck, hard. Pluto whined and shivered. After a moment Hans lapped at Pluto's wound and then pushed him onto his hands and knees. Hans made quick work to finally throw off his coat and pants. He prepped himself at Pluto's entrance, taking no time to push inside. Pluto howled and gripped the dirt under him. Hans moaned at Pluto's tightness and tried to soothingly rub circles on the other's back. Pluto moaned out as well, trying to get adjusted to the new feeling of Hans being inside of him. The pair soon fell into a rhythm that started slow for Pluto's sake but picked up in no time. There were cries and howls that could be heard throughout the forest. Pluto soon started to shake and lost all strength in his arms.

'_Hans.' _He moaned as a coiling feeling made it presence in Pluto's gut. Hans leaned in so that he could nip at Pluto's ear. He knew they both were very close.

'_Just a bit longer… Howl for Pluto.' _Hans growled and dig his nails into Pluto's hips.

'_HANS!' _Pluto howled just as told as he finally let everything go; clenching up tightly. Hans couldn't hold on after Pluto's release, so he too let out a howl as he came. They both panted hard, and before falling limp Hans pulled out of his mate. As they lay in the dirt, Hans pulled Pluto close. Pluto smiled and gave Hans a lick on the cheek. He was extremely tired after the whole event and was worried about how he may change back to his hellhound form. Hans was quick to realize Pluto's dilemma and told him that it was okay to change. Pluto gave a quick nod and stop resisting his change. Pluto gave a yawn and rolled onto his belly to lay his head in his paws. Hans thought for a moment and decided to change into his wolf form to lie alongside his mate. Hans licked Pluto's muzzle and rested his head on the other's shoulders. Little to the pairs' knowledge, Sebastian was wondering the woods, trying to locate them. Hans was the first to notice the demon butler walking over.

"You smell," Sebastian sneered, "And are in desperate need of baths." Pluto whined, he hated baths!

'_It is inevitable Pluto, you're covered and dirt and cum.'_ Hans chuckled.

"I was speaking to the both of you." Sebastian pointed out. Hans was now as ready to run as his mate, only neither one had the strength to get up and move. So Sebastian was able to get the both of them and drag them back to the mansion. Hans could only think to himself; this was going to be a long few months…but at least he had Pluto.


End file.
